實例解析中考英語作文給分原則(4)

　　又有家長呼吁上點學生習作，于是來一篇之前我的學生LYQ寫的作文。

　　Nowadays, the lunch in school is not as popular as it used to. Some students don’t like it so they go out of the school in order to eat the food they prefer. However, not all delicious food is good for their health.

　　I would like to present my ideas as follows. There is no denying that students ought to follow the school rules to have lunch at school, which can not only keep themselves healthier but also make it easier for the teachers to manage the students. But on the other hand, it is the responsibility of the schools to improve the qualities of their dishes. Only in this way can they attract more students to have lunch at school.

　　【實際得分：17分】

　　張老師點評：

　　這是我以前一個學生的習作，當時的題目如下：

　　現(xiàn)在，有很多同學選擇在學校外面吃午飯。這樣做是否正確?你的建議是什么?請寫一篇不少于60字的文章。

　　老實講，其實這篇文章是可以得滿分的，但是由于是習作，我強行扣掉了1分。這篇文章從文采來講，當然是很好的，但是其實其中很多句型，在很多文章中都可以通用，只要提前熟悉，要寫出來其實并不困難。例如文章中出現(xiàn)的”I would like to present my ideas as follows.” “There is no denying that…” “only in this way + 倒裝句”等等，都是我們平時操練過的。所以很多事情你看起來很困難，但是對于有準備的人來說也是比較輕松的。正如賈島詩言：“二句三年得，一吟雙淚流。”
 

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